great disappointment in myself

the results are out & not what i expected.. ultimate thing is i got all Cs & Ds.. my cap point drop by almost 30%.. 3rd class to pass.. i'm drifting further from my dream.. why is that so? why must reality be so cruel? i hate this feeling, crying inside.. how would this ever happen to me?

what's gonna happen to me in the future? help me.. i'm so lost now.. i'm still a kid at heart.. results matter to me a lot i should say & it really affects me mentally, emotionally & physically.. argh i hate the fact..

nitez fall as @12:36 AM

excitement to depression

pretty excited to sign the appt letter to day.. got a few stuff to reward myself but at the end of the day f**king result spoil my mood.. damn it.. i dun deserve to get the rewards.. sob sob..

nitez fall as @12:32 AM

random events

1.enjoying the moment of being the only child

you get what you what.. almost getting all the attention.. only constraint is time not money coz remember i say the only child means you being the only investment your parents invest in..

fruit tea to soothen ur throat

sinful potatoes skin

getting the most expensive main course in the entire menu..

tada..

lobster

after 2 mouth full.. you can choose to take it or leave it to mummy.. coz firstly, its fattening & has high cholestrol in that melted cheeze.. secondly, you are giving up the best dish to her.. so guai.. wahaha.. that's what i did coz maybe i'm not born to have a good life to like enjoy the best of everything..

my cuppa of tea - grilled fish

followed by the big NO-NO but i simply cant resist..

vanilla ice-cream with brownie.. sth lacking.. where's my choco fudge??

last but not least.. thanks dad for the wonderful lunch at bukit panjang..

like i say it might not be the best due to time constraint..

2.a little something


yes i drew it.. a star with 6 names in it.. implying StarHub coz the names are incorporated within the star meaning a focal point.. a focal point = hub.. don't believe go find out from your dictionary.. crap.. anw it took me like 10 minutes to draw it on the white board.. was quite upset coz boss leaving on the 5th, i leaving on the 14th.. hmm but it's for the betterment.. bless me coz i'm totally excited & looking forward to the new arrangement.. wohuh..

3.el-kor-hall






that's for almost ever other day.. crazy addict..

4.k-ing in the middle of the night

the last time was like 2 to 3 mths ago due to the tight schedule..

bestie & me

simply her

simply me

one word - enjoyable..

5.jewel box

i have been wanting to go to the jewel box @ mt faber..

*period*

let the pictures complete the blog..

wine & dine @ mt faber

A-altivo bar

B-viewing deck

C-glass house

D-faber hill bistro

E-faber rock

i actually rip the photo off the website coz i am not sure if i'm ever gg there again.. disappointed.. it's quite limited.. only 3 location as A, B & C are joint.. i supposed that's called the jewel box.. reason being i would think the jewel box is enclosed sth more amazing than the glass house.. but not it's just a name.. and gosh i have been there so any times & only now that i come to realise that this is it.. & wonder y would i ever wan to go to jewel box again.. haha.. broken dream..

nitez fall as @12:21 AM

FINALLY

**first day @ HK**

my ticket & passport

our very own changi airport
before the flight

on the plane

the yucky dinner except for the ice-cream

landing at hk

on the coach

the 3 star hotel at the 5 star location

*insights*
Tsing Ma Bridge

Golden Bauhinia Square

Victoria Peak

**second day @ HK**

implied destination

my big yellow ears

bloated

i scored 3000 points.. level 3..
my sis still in stage 1.. wahaha..

playful tigger

big hugz

wonderful finale - dream castle

**third day @ HK**

temple thingy - che kung temple

repulse bay

then off to shenzhen

**forth day @ SZ**

comfy hotel

splendid china

windows of the world

magnificant view from the ai-fei-er tie-ta

**fifth day @ HK**

that what's about free & easy on the last day..

my shoppings

overall, was a very hectic trip, not very fulfiling & enjoyable but a good experience i can say.. ms bai as per your request the photos r up.. nah.. got more but blogger is too slow so can post all.. sorrie.. hee..

nitez fall as @1:35 AM

how true is this?

You are Not Ready to Date Again

And deep down you probably know it.Your ex is the number one thing on your brain.And you're still suffering from the post break-up blues.This is when you need to take care of yourself - And take a break from men (especially your ex) It's time for you to pamper yourself!Warm bath, plenty of essential oils, and a good book.

nitez fall as @11:14 AM

spare me a thought..

i was supposed to blog about the trip but i didn't.. i just wonder if i could spare u guys a thought, where is mine? i'm not blaming any one or angry with any specific one of you but just myself.. i hate that kind of look u guys gave & the things you guys ask.. just get away from me, this little nasty girl..

~when brain is at work - career~
pls u uncles, spare a little thought for me, i'm less than half your age.. what do you expect out of me? what were you doing when you were 20 plus, kicking soccer, playing marbles or climbing trees?
i'm struggling my way.. at least i have my own mind, i know what i want and where to go.. i need to move on.. it's just coincidence that boss is leaving too.. yes he left 1 week earlier than me but so what he want a break coz work is too hectic.. i'm not leaving with him.. in addition, i don't need a break.. i want to learn as many thing as possible in the shortest time possible & got no time to waste.. i'm leaving for betterment for interest.. not $$.. it's more than ten percent less.. but do you think i care? i don't not because i'm rich or what but i know i need to get somewhere.. stop all the crap but luckily the focus is not on me.. not much ppl know i'm leaving.. god bless, the CNA will not spread.. nah..

plus, y u guy flip my notebook.. hate it the photo of me & him, cannot meh.. y must comment.. make me feel so.. untold feelings.. i miss you.. argh i hate to say that.. we lost contact for the better or worst i wonder..

~when the soul is at work - family~
they don't stress me but i know i'm not up to the standard they set for me in their heart even if they don't voice out.. & plus my 2 sisters are weigh less me by more than 10kg each.. FREAK.. stress man i hope new year don't come.. i hate it.. i really HATE IT when relatives/strangers say i look older than them.. they r petite & i'm the bloody hell alien.. the feeling simply sux.. boo..

~when the heart is at work - love~
i'm no sweetie pie in anyone heart..yes just single.. to console my self like what others said, it's okay.. you get all the freedom you want, you can flirt all you want, you can play all you like.. but deep down inside, nobody wants to be single forever.. no care, no concern.. sounds so scary right? dull weekends, boring public holidays filled with sorrows & lousy memories.. lovey-dovey sitting right across, more loving than ever for you to envy, at times i did.. if you know me well, i don't lie at all & i trust every single one even if you ever hurt me, i still trust coz i'm dumb & stupid.. phew, luckily i do talk to the wall that makes me feel better.. i'm stronger than you think not..

~when the society is at work - friends~
hot topic at this moment, the most frequent question i received - WHEN IS MANYI'S BIRTHDAY? WHAT SHE LIKE AH? WHAT TO GET FOR HER? FAVOURS TO GET THIS GET THAT? hey guys come on, want to woo girls still must ask me.. what the okay fine.. i'm not exactly jealous here but think about it, usually we don't talk but when it comes to problem solving, i'm being used in a way.. no way guys, you r not gonna to get what info you want from me.. firstly, integrity of friendship is there.. i swear she is my best friend since sec 1, not gonna betray her.. she's my soulmate, we share every single little thing together..

yup.. she's a sweet little thing but i would think she blessed & bliss now.. don't disrupt her life.. at least she feel ok now.. average, get what i mean? don't come to my blog & rip her photos off, i curse you for that.. its for visual consumption.. i don't care how you crop or slice my face off beside hers but please don't.. i sue you for theft.. the sweet little thing is mine, so don't snatch from me.. wahaha.. but if i were i guy, i'll not choose her la.. coz in any case of you being murdered, they will think you commited sucide coz she look just so helpless.. oh no she's gonna scream at me if she reads this..

SO DUN ASK ME, I DON'T KNOW..

SPARE ME A THOUGHT AS I ALWAYS SAY, MY SMILE IT FROM MY BRAIN NOT FROM MY HEART.. IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST SMILE FROM MY HEART..


nitez fall as @11:29 PM

back from hk..

have got 1G of photos.. wahaha..
but blogger is so slow in loading pix.. duh..
update soon..

nitez fall as @10:33 PM

FREAK

it's not about relating you to things...


but it's u being everywhere...

nitez fall as @10:27 PM

i'm back..

back from hk.. quit my job.. got a new one..
waiting to sign new appointment letter..
lalala..

nitez fall as @10:03 PM

the needle in my heart pricks..

whenever i see u on the msn.. coz my screen don't pop up your message but i smile coz u didn't block me.. i'm glad..

in life, there are bound to be joy & sorrows to strike a balance in life.. it did happen to me, what about you? i lost someone coz my heart leads me to no where but at the same time i lost the heart to be attached to my team.. thereafter my brain lead me to make a decision and tell me that that's the choice i should make.. what comes around goes around.. maybe a blessing in disguise, no one knows..

i chose to learn but not money.. yes, did i hear someone scolding me dumb? well, it for you to judge then.. dad says money is important but don't u need more experience to earn more? wahaha.. lalala.. gonna get excuse for not gg mum allowance lor.. dad says.. coz school fees is super ex.. i dread.. coming aug another 4K.. but the DEGREE is what i want.. i always emphasize that coz i felt the importance of a DEGREE.. the toilet paper that everyone needs.. but i wan a facial tissue looks better.. anw i'm more of a rational person so i go for long term - valuable experiences..

he once said don't bother about the ending, what's important is the process.. i guess so.. i agreed.. hmm.. god what's wrong with me? keep thinking.. i'm glad but not exactly happy.. last fri, nit says i'm always tense up & can't relax.. coz she felt that there are some stuff bothering me.. i just smile, perhaps smiling is the best thing u can do after a day of hard work, sorrows, unhappiness..

so now i'm trying to leave everything behind & enjoy my five days with my sisters.. praying hard for good weather.. have to reach airport by 8am.. finally can get to fly.. the last time was the thai adventure trip 2 yrs ago with him.. was really superb.. let the miracle happen again.. even i know it can't but i just hope at least the glimpse of hope keep me going..

nitez fall as @1:29 AM

still working at 8.30pm

i'm leaving on a jet plane.. yeah.. don't miss me k.. so bu yao lian but i don't care la.. any one wanna go swim? night cycling? singing? shopping? tag okay.. hee.. i got 3 full months of holidays and nothing to do except work.. i find it really boring.. yes ade if u happen to cross by i'm onz for the sydney trip.. & boon r u free a not? i wan to travel please.. so sian in s'pore.. hate it man.. well well.. try to get more stuff back so can give everyone..

disclaimer k.. my trip is short if can't get dun blame me hor.. now still at work, luggage still haven pack plus jie say the money we change not enuff.. sad man gonna slurge this trip but i do hope it's worth it anw..

mum call say got ku guai tang call me go home drink but have to work late.. coz today 3 technicians not in.. one on leave two on course.. so left me la still at office lor..
poor me..

just had a mug of beer.. die le.. become alcohol addict le.. save me.. haha..

nitez fall as @8:28 PM

i'm just down..

My mind went blank for a moment as I saw his nick in msn popping up.. I refreshed my memory coz I remembered receiving a msg ytd while I was asleep.. so I went to check my phone..

yes there was a msg..

a really nasty one but I was happy coz at least he bothered to do so.. at least I know he’s back.. I’m elated at the same time depressed coz I just cant get over it.. coz I’m a bloody idiot and a sill girl at heart.. no chance means no chance but I just cant stop trying coz LOVE rules all..
thinking is mandatory for every breakup..
but I’m just plainly stupid and dumb..

nitez fall as @11:17 AM

nah.. happening weekend but not happy..

*FRIDAY*

first at orchard..
yi & me

neoprints after so long

then breko..
nini

first round

second round

*SATURDAY*

got to go work.. yes on a public holiday & yes i left my hp at home.. duh..

then bugis shopping spree..
fun shots..

pretty..

sexy..

bestie..

sweetie & me..

starting on the journey..

had a hell load of fun after a few month not seeing her.. as usual we shopped till drop.. so enjoyable.. shiok..

returning home then the day ended at devils..

taking lift down..

see that??

i'm so dumb got free drink but instead i lock my tix in the locker.. wahaha.. just so silly everytime.. yes just so silly, a day back nithya was telling me she misses jordan's beer action in thai.. shit & it really made me so depress coz i missed all his action lor.. shit la.. now i see beer also think of him all because of nit.. anw vin was saying pls enjoy but don't drunk coz he scare of me lor.. haha..

k anw.. i took a cab & it took me 10 buck lor so ex & so slow.. clubbing?? what's ur perception? drink, dance, feel & touch.. think is not the first time i see ppl so touchy but not in my group lah.. but this time is so called the own gang so seems quite scary..lol.. i'm seriously not so open to like other's feel me coz i really feel so er xin.. but luckily i'm spared ba coz they all a bit drunk liao.. run for my life.. join jeff & friend not so scary de.. dance till drop.. anw had a good chat, feeling slightly better lor.. stupid cancerian i am..

dance..

more..

yes yes to me clubbing is still a stress relieve but i don't really enjoy it.. unlike singing.. coz i miss someone so i don't wanna be home & sleep.. so miserable de.. so go clubbing lor at least got sth to do.. but spend a lot.. broke broke broke..

k-box, party world, k-ster.. anyone??

nitez fall as @9:52 PM

my two twin sister..

just happen to find some pix.. tada..

let u guess la.. they are twin.. guess is da jia or er jie..
on a seperate note, don't comment about how bad i look k as compared to them..
don't hurt me lah coz even same factory also might have defect items de.. wahaha..




guess who???

nitez fall as @9:31 PM

2 weeks back

travelling to take notes

mum made me sandwich

stoning outside exam hall

anw wanna thanks all for exams tips & notes..
if not for that i gonna be lost..

nitez fall as @9:03 PM

blog things

Your Extroversion Profile:

Activity Level: Very High

Excitement Seeking: High

Assertiveness: Medium

Cheerfulness: Medium

Sociability: Medium

Friendliness: Low

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

You are a Career Girl!

You may not be a CEO yet, but you're well on your way to success. You take your career seriously, and you wouldn't stop working for any guy! An independent woman, you pay for your own car, clothes, and housing. And men appreciate that - at least, the ones as driven as you are.

It's 80% Love and 20% Lust

You and your guy are truly in love, even if that spark seems to be a little dimmer.

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Busy

While a relationship sounds nice, you're strapped for time Whether you're legitimately busy or just making excuses... ... You don't give men enough of your time. As nice as "instant love" would be, there's just no such thing.

Men See You As Choosy

Men notice you light years before you notice them You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

nitez fall as @11:47 PM

the urge is back

lalala.. blogging like nobody business.. yea have got lots of photos yeah.. but my bluetooth can't detect leh.. sian ah.. pray hard..

nitez fall as @1:27 PM

unhappiness

it just came to me..

felt really bad.. but no one cares, life just continue.. i just found out something real bad as in all the work that i'm doing is junk work.. replicating hard copies to soft copies, data entry & consolidating of statistic.. oh well u might think that consolidating is where u learn.. yes but i'm consolidating sth that others have done.. so when i started calling ppl for the figures, they go like huh didn't so & so gave u the figures? she consolidated already leh.. fine lor..

was treated like a fool. so pissed off so that when i held back to my responsibility of finishing the rest of the stuff ytd coz i was teribly upset.. anw back to work today, i still can't run away from reality that the stack of work is still piling up like nobody business.. i hate it i really do..

plus now i have forgotten to bring my hp out coz i was afraid that the phone batt might be flat later but didn't bring it out = batt totally flat.. i'm so dumb to think so much and in the end things just get worst.. stupidity..

nitez fall as @10:35 AM

missing you is miserable but i thank god for..

the fate to meet you..
the chance to be with you..
the faith to hold on to you..
the patience to wait for you..
the blessing to miss you dearly..
the hope to let the flame re-ignite..
cause you were once there waiting for me..
JUST YOU ! THE ONE & ONLY YOU, I MISS YOU SO MUCH!


let this happen again..


*the emo cancerian misses you very much*

nitez fall as @12:44 AM

is my standard really that high?

what do you think? tag & tell me..

i needed a more challenging job because the current one can't satisfy me.. yes i might be physically busy working late but my brain is not functioning.. i can just lend you my brain & go to work without it..

me: wa.. nth to do today leh..
julia aka pty exec: just now meeting give you so many things still not enough?
me: huh?? tat one call work ah? call tenants check whether the annual shutdown date can be brought forward only leh.. don't need to use brain one..
julia: hmm.. anw do it by tml pls..
me: no prob..

*kpo me.. ran off to the roof top with technician c & h*
me: u all go roof top for what ah?
h: teach c how to control the CRC system
c: ya i want to learn coz h gg onleave for 1 week
me: *grin* me too.. 2 days leave
c: nvm u teach me i programme lor
me: CRC? what is that?
h: VRV related stuff la
me: *saw the tag, trying to act clever*
orh.. CRC = central remote control
h: yap, correct
me & c: *learn*

*takes 30 minutes, go back to office*

*before stepping into the office*
c: show u the sealant defects ok?
me: sure
c: a lot ah.. but need gondola access
me: huh.. like that will they do a not?
c: have to la.. the supervisor like bo chup us leh
me: how can like that, no respect
c: see that sealant punctured at the corner
me: cannot la.. later water seepage how?
c: ya lor, i consolidate all defects
me: ok let's go back & discuss

*another 30 minutes gone*

so the paper work stacked up la.. see i so garang.. run around or sit in the office till scare ah.. sit till fat.. sit till rot coz nth to do.. my brain rust liao help..

its pretty interesting sometimes but not all the times.. if can give me interesting things to do, how good hor stick my butt to the chair also don't mind.. dreaming.. so i started searching for new job lor.. hee

nitez fall as @12:21 AM

thanks dad

working is hectic today or should say since my studies & exams started.. the back-logging is still not cleared.. left at 6 plus yep earlier than ytd by 2 hrs.. anw there's still much untouched.. life is so contridicting.. the day is so long yet i find no time to complete the necessary..

as usual after a day of hardwork & having 3 month of holidays without school.. i stroll down orchard road window shopping.. the ultimate result is that nothing catches my eyes.. my mind actually when blank i was thinking of the real bad memories as i walked past the ice-cream cart.. i remember how disappointed, how surprised i was 2 weeks ago when i saw him & her on the same place.. i held back.. control & control.. promise myself not to cry again coz if i'm to blame, i would have to deserve this sad ending.. i sat at the exact location alone.. seeing the unhappy events.. the flashback which he has forgotten but not me.. everything changes.. the place changed from hello@orchard to hsbc bank & starbucks like how he did.. totally changed.. upset but what can i do??

anw i went home empty handed but the best thing today is that i received a call from dad saying that he's at taka & well i was at wisma.. GREAT! dad drove me home.. that's how the day ended..

nitez fall as @11:57 PM

what to blog?

my brain is dead.. i forget how to blog le.. hee hee..

nitez fall as @11:37 PM

exams over..

finally everything is over..

spend the whole day to revamp my blog.. 5 hours.. but i just like the way it is now.. hope my dream come true..

nitez fall as @10:30 PM

3 Cs

chiong, club, chill..

Namelist
- rayne
- ade
- queenie
- yan
- boon
- vin
- lj
- her him
- him
- lalala more to go..

am i a freaking animal? no la.. stress reliever la.. de..

BACK TO REALITY..

STUDY LAW LOR !!!

nitez fall as @3:02 AM

excited

one more paper to go only on tues noon.. happy coz after that will be having a long break of 3 months.. no school yipee.. more free time coz i just need to work only.. it's a relieve for me.. i'm not asking for more like 100% holiday.. that's enough for me.. yeah..

still looking into how i can earn more $$$.. want to learn driving badly coz dad was saying you still don't want to learn to drive ah.. so old le.. hmm what a comment.. it's not like i don't want to learn i've got no time.. anw i want to go school coz earier to pass as compare to private.. which means more expensive.. grr.. hates.. so i must work part-time.. sobsob.. as usual to get a life can only club lor can't even shop after operation hours right.. darn.. y cant s'pore have 24 hrs shopping centre huh.. upset..

gg to hk/shenzhen on 10 may.. shopping/abortion la can't meh.. wahaha..

literally abortion to abort the nightmares.. to re-live.. looking forward..

broke 757 bucks leh.. all thanks to my jie lor.. anw its part of my be-early 21st b'dae present.. 200 bucks contribution from da jie, 150 bucks from er jie, 300 bucks co. reimbursement.. remaining 107 bucks from my own pocket la then what you think got ppl sponsor meh.. god..

hope can shop there till drop.. want to buy adidas jacket.. clothes more clothes.. bags more bags.. accessories more accessories.. shoes more shoes.. wanna buy boots but mama will definitely nag & more nags.. hee..

waiting for him.. wanna go xxx..

waiting for nit.. wanna go thai..

waiting for ade.. wanna go perth..

waiting for kor.. wanna go japan.. he's there working.. xian mu..

waiting for boon.. wanna go for short trip.. batam.. thai.. japan.. korea..

dont wanna wait for mama.. dun wanna go m'sia but dad gg to sponsor.. family outing.. but dun wanna go coz no more leave la.. haha..

i wanna travel.. who want to go with me??

- dubai
- japan
- korea
- states
- rendang
- maldives
- australia
- many more..

my motivation to work.. must earn more to travel..
i want a promotion can a not?? hee..

nitez fall as @2:35 AM

♥adverts

♥counter

♥wishlist

degree
driving license
increment
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further studies
tiny laptop
spa session at turi beach
travel with friends
US or UK
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iphone
new phone
perfume
slim down
facial
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DS Lite
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♥chatbox

♥links

*Adeline
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*Lian Jie
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♥moments

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{*hits & misses*}