It's a fact.. i'm not suitable for the job..

depressed at work.. imagine ur svp says u have to work harder, ur boss say he wanna give up on u, ur senior says buck up..

well just resign to fate? i'm not good enough.. then find someone else y me? i'm in deep shit.. no where to move on.. disappointed & depress.. maybe i should just work as some data entry clerk or wat..

TOTALLY HURT..

please dun bother about me.. ur concern has resulted pressure on me.. i thought i have done my best but it's not.. maybe i'm just till idealistic i should stay where i am now.. doesn't seems that i can move on.. but i just wanted to be happy but they forgo my happiness for them to vent their anger on.. wat am i?

JUST A PIECE OF SHIT...

DAMN IT

nitez fall as @4:42 PM

a date with ah bao

haven been meeting my upper sec friends already.. i wan to go tan myself but bao not free leh.. sad.. anw made up with a shopping session.. hee..


wanna go town take photo of the xmas decor..

nitez fall as @11:55 PM

sis grad

ytd evening

went to photoshop to have sis grad family photo shoot.. proud wor.. jie finally grad liao.. congrats.. somehow felt so xin fu.. but must wait for the photo only ready in a week time..

my big sis & me..

me in formal wear..

me in casual wear..

today late afternoon

kana woke up by my mum coz she say jia wanna me go esplanade to take more photos with her.. siao but we from the sam factory so like to take photo..

let me present the grad.. hee..

fun shot..

imaginary shots

too much of supression..

makes me thirst..

had dim sum after that..

edible cute bumble bee..

wonderful spread..

shopping again after that..

i like the dress but jie say too mature le.. sad..

super gong haircut.. sad..

nitez fall as @11:53 PM

partner.. her again..

got invite wor.. yipee..

as usual my clubbin partner.. muackz

waiting for our personal transport.. my daddy..thanx oh..

nitez fall as @3:02 AM

nitez @ east coast

met up with ade b4 huiwen bdae chalet.. had tcc once again.. chat a little.. so envy her hk trip.. not long after meet up with shan & nice stan drove us to costa sands but somehow went to the pasir ris one.. blur oh.. think got infected by shan lor.. couples r like that..

reach huiwen chalet but somehow the 3 of us over dress wor.. so funny so we decide to go to the nice cozy pubbie lor.. the most interesting part was we walked the wrong direction.. all thanks to me.. i made them walked for one hr when it would only take 5 minutes if we were to go the right direction.. haha okay anw they did not fire at me or anything.. felt relieve coz i came out with a wonderful excuse that i help them to tone their thighs & shin.. hehe..

as usual the wonderful night scene

the neverending path that took ue 45 minutes..

so we decided to give up after 1 hr and ran in the middle of ECP while shan stood at the path..



pictures from shan.. can imagine how far she is away from us while we were trying to get cab.. so bad hor..

the vehicles were so fast that they flash pass us..

well this is me & ade..

we took cab.. wanted to go home but the stubborn me insisted on finding the place so mr cabby drove us to mac & i managed to find the place.. cheers..

i like this nice lamp..
so cozy.. wanna slp le after such a long walk & the taxi uncle said it was 4.6km.. wa caoz we all walk 1 hr for that long distance more that cross country.. pro wor..

tired ade & me..

exhausted shan & me..

SORRY GIRLS MAKE U WALK SO FAR.. GUILTY..



trio running away from the cozy resting place coz we were harassed by a moth.. iieee.. hate it spoil our mood man..

anw shan frenx came & send us to esplanade..
basement tunnel

..TADA..

then after an hour i was back at east coast.. angry sia.. go east coast again when i just left the place.. it was a joke.. i walk for so long & someone purposely drive me pass the same path that i walk.. angry sia.. but then the life band there was nice but too tired to appreciate so find it a little noise but of course no way i am gg back to the same pub..


from my seat i see nothing but some bar area & a nice lighting.. too bad when ever i take pictures of light it does not come out well coz too bright le cannot see the lamp.. sad..

lazy & tired me..

blur but not drunk hor..

nitez fall as @4:40 AM

dun matter if no one loves u..

LOVE YOURSELF.. MUACKZ

twist.. to pray hard that no one hates u so it's easier to convince them to love u including urself..

smile for a vote..

be a little serious about it..

see got my first lover.. my mum.. she think that i lurve myself too..
i mean too much.. bursting my cabinets with accessories, my shelves with enamels, cream & face paint, my wardrobe bursting.. & mum goes crazy when she has 101 nos of clothes to wash plus my 2 sistas.. poor mum..

that's when she begin to lurve herself.. see the pix u'll get wat i mean.. hee..

Ahem i believe that's what we considered as an influence..

So indulgence is the following..
proudly presented by me, myself & I..

nitez fall as @2:45 PM

Carl's Jr

Burger King Sworn Brother? hee..

Let's see..
Keke.. Got to wait la..

got cute yellow star star.. logo i mean..


worth waiting.. Yum Yum.. but too huge a portion..


my fav.. wohuh.. super gigantic onion ring..

nitez fall as @2:38 PM

JOYOUS OCCASSION THAT TURN BAD..

THE STORY GOES...

nitez fall as @4:45 PM

Juz a quick one..

erm the blog is giving me trouble now.. boo.. dun ask me things i dunno or dun wish to answer.. it's bothering me when i have already so many things up in my head.. it's enough for me man.. give me a break can a not?? u so free that y can do all sorts of nonsense but not me.. kindly spare a thought for others and please be mature lor.. Can't i blog about my life.. a blog = online diary lor.. arghz.. box u then u know..

ON A SEPERATE NOTE..
feel so miserable.. ke lian de wo.. missing u.. tml is suppose to be my big day de but now it's all gone should i be glad or wat? troubled.. wo hen xiang ni.. shit wat and y am i blogging.. stop stop.. i can't think so much..

*SHUHUA MUST STUDY HARD*

nitez fall as @10:53 PM

One more paper to go..

last paper.. architecture paper next thursday..

refresh..

16/11/05
study the whole day and manage to catch a breathe at evening..
with my bestie.. look so sweet.. boo..
she force me to say de.. poor me..
coz my eye swollen can't take photo wor..

went out for a coffee.. yum yum..
love the wedges swimming in cheese dip..

plus my blackforest.. yipee..
it's a recharge for me before the exam..

17/11/05
had my professional communication exam.. then went back home to study statistics..


18/11/05
had my killer statistics exam.. then went back to work.. tired.. well, got very negative comments from the audit where my baby is concerned.. i'm dead.. boo.. everything is my fault as if i really wish that to happen.. i've done my best le but still there are problems arising from that.. yup so i have to answer for it and asist julia to write the report.. urgh.. it all sucks..
tml still have to go to work..

nitez fall as @10:43 PM

I'M VERY WORRIED

yesterday was a hectic day.. so many work to be done coz i was on leave last friday.. but i promise myself to leave at 530 sharp so that i am able to go home & start my revision.. however when i reach home.. i was too lethargic to continue with the revision so i went to bed at ten..

ON LEAVE.. Yipee..

but still have to do my revision.. i have not enough time coz i didn't take enough leave coz the audit started at the same time .. bless me.. trying to work hard & seek advice from my classmates.. kind enough they did gave some precious advise..

oh god.. this girl here needs help & blessing to work her way thru to her exams on thursday.. help me please.. anyone who comes please bless me...

*SHUHUA IS SCARE & NERVOUS*

woah at the sight of so many experienced adults in my class.. i wan to faint coz they all so pro..

nitez fall as @12:53 PM

BLOG

maybe i should just delete my blog..

ECCENTRIC ME

nitez fall as @12:27 AM

Confinement

felt pretty upset ytd night because of an incident.. well but recovered soon after so till not feeling so bad this morning..

msg someone but no reply at all.. even till now more than 24hrs already.. avoid somemore la.. shit la.. i'm broke lor.. super sian..

TODAY was stuck at home for the whole day..
have to buck up & study my statistics but somehow or rather, i dun know how to manage this module.. how to i study? so i just read thru onli.. for 3 consective days to read 11 chapters.. so bored but it was a must.. left 2 chapters to read.. but after reading i have no idea what i was reading.. didn't really understand what was need to prepare for the exams on the 18th.. oh no.. how am i going to take the papers unprepare becoz i dun know what to study.. urgh.. utter disappointed with myself..

Late Morning
late morning i mean.. woke up very late.. anw papa got me nasi lemak for breakfast..

Afternoon
mama got me coconut coz she say i'm heaty.. poor me kana eye infection.. in pain plus eye swollen.. ke lian..


Late Evening
yupyup manage to find an ice-cream from the freeze..


Late Night
self creation.. kopi-o plus milo powder.. bitter & sweet.. nice oh..


WELL BUT EVERYTHING WAS WITH THE COMPANIONSHIP OF MY STATS TEXTBK..
MIGHT AS WELL KILL ME.. I DUN UNDERSTAND STATS..

nitez fall as @11:58 PM

12/10/2005 ==>Sean's Birthday

Morning... went to eat mac break fast..
so long nv eat big breakfast le.. happie..

look younger in the pix..
so kiddish in the photo with mascot..

Afternoon.. study study study for statistics..

Evening.. on the train to pasir ris..

celebrate sean birthday? juz kidding..
this photo taken in the morning la..

Night.. went to costa chalet help celebrate sean birthday..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. SEAN(extreme right).. CHEERS!!


Jean & Me.. Long time nv meet lor..
sorry make u waited for one hour.. dun kill me..

nitez fall as @1:04 AM

disappointed with myself

haven been blogging for a few days le.. but i miss my blog which i can type nonsense.. utterly disappointed with myself.. hasn't been smiling.. work & study.. i'm not going to make it.. i'm weak.. if they were to give up on me then how am i going to make it? i'm so afraid..

plus the audit making things worst.. got an mc today but still went to work coz too many things was left undone.. plus adhoc service had to be done as the carpark system was down.. wasted too much time on that already.. help..

stupid auditor ask question that i have to answer.. super stress coz having a headache plus the pressure i'm facing.. have to be articulative when my power of language and communication skills sucks.. that's it for me.. how to answer? when petty cash does not tally coz the reimburstment is not here yet? god help me..

how to do the self appraisal when u know u have done so many wrong things plus forget so many things.. understand please i know it's gonna be hard & i'm striving on to recover.. i'm trying hard but i'm totally demoralize but everything.. so what if u put in effort to do sth, it would not be appreciated.. darn..

wanted to study but i'm so tired.. didn't do well for my statistic test oh no.. very upset althought so many ppl r concern about me.. thanks.. i do appreciate but it's a fact that i have to do well in the finals coz i don't want to repeat.. bless me pls..

*WELL WELL.. IT'S GONNA BE HARD BUT SHUHUA CAN DO IT..*

missing someone is so unbearable.. i miss you.. need a hug luckily got my big teddy bear.. yipee so i should feel fortunate enough le.. trying to think on the bright side.. hopefully i'm not too native but thinking this way..

nitez fall as @10:26 PM

WORDS FROM MY HEART



nitez fall as @12:48 AM

work work work

i just came back less than an hour ago from work.. but i have to clarify that i don't have OT.. but it's just the human instinct in me that i have to do my work till this time.. well so i stay till ard 11 to send the carpark guys off coz the barrier was down today.. giving me lots of trouble.. auditors are on their way to my place.. rushing like mad for the audit to regularise all the stuff but my whole day was spent doing the carpark admin..

got to give the quotation to boss tml but i have ask from contractors yet plus sealant job for window gasket at the budget of only 5K what can i do man? it's like only can do a few so have to ask feedback from tenants haven ask yet.. die liao someone gonna chop my head off.. well tot of an idea maybe just call up and ask then to quote by per meter run la.. i'm dying soon.. have to face the music tml.. bless me..

my sunday was like.. all of the staff went back to work on the audit i was the earliest to reach.. haha i'm so proud i reach ten plus eleven haha.. then left at ard 9.. went home took a bath & out for supper..plus ytd was a late night thingy..

totally exhausted this morning plus stomach upset.. die le la..

exams is round the corner.. no time to study.. plus work like mad..
okok.. end here or i'll be late tml.. *chuckle*

nitez fall as @12:31 AM

it's my alternate sat..

got 2 work today coz it's my alt sat.. but pretty sad that my shift is all noon shift which means it starts at ten & end at two.. so late wor.. anw work till ard seven today..

i wen to go chinatown.. my m&m studs.. then on the way eat dim sum but was late for my dim sum session.. suppose to go yum cha one but then yum cha so far & i'm famished so just settled with some roadside tim sum..


looking at it now makes me drool..

btw the waitress cracked a idiotic joke on us.. she brought us two portion of 'har kao' which we order only one..

then later when i confirm the order with the cashier who took the order, she said she would check but guess what? she say 'shang cuo le'. haha.. so blur leh.. pek chek.. so hungry still dun get things done fast.. caoz.. but the good thing is it's cheap la.. on dutch each person only pay less than ten bucks..

it's not my day.. the shop didn't open today.. disappointed no earrings only gotta top & necklace.. sobsob but that cann't compensate the earrings..

nitez fall as @12:18 AM

pUbLiC HoLiDay


on the bus travelling to orchard..


returning journey..

public holiday = waste of time & life

except that once in a while u get wild in the night..
but it's too tiring for a party.. y not get out for a spin?
yap it's cool.. kinda of season to it..
so let's discover..

once again let me present another peaceful place..


letting the sea breeze run through ur hair.. let the waves crash ur ear drums.. constructive or destructive that waves can be.. it all depends on ur perception, ur mindset..


Be it brightness in the dark..


Or is it light in the darkness..

it can be of dual purpose.. but darkness filled my heart & i'm still so down even tough i tried to be happy & keep telling myself that.. i'm a clown who jokes with myself.. i'm a failure.. i hate it..

nitez fall as @5:57 AM

exhausted..

my day started as early as 6.30am.. woke up especially early today coz have to wear super formal for my professional communication presentation in class later.. argh no one is free now to listen to me complain about how scare how nervous i was all store in my heart pumping faster than ever.. is this all about growing up? i dun wan to grow up.. it's so sick.. & the truth is i have not prepared very well.. my group have very high expectation i wan to make it there not to let them down.. stress..

left home ard 730am.. reach office at 815am.. super hungry oh.. no choice audit on monday three more days to go.. pressurized coz only half done.. bleah.. no lunch gotta da pao fried rice & eat fast fast with julia & henry.. poor us.. the worst thing is that i have got presentation & no lunch time to practise & i so going to die soon..

having a bad headache coz my brain got not enough blood.. so what the hell is my hear doing? nv pump blood to my brain & make me feel so giddy.. panadol is here to rescue.. wohuh.. but then no cups for water so have to walk to 2nd level to buy mineral water.. xiong ah my head worsen lor.. boo.. should not have run.. just wanted to get it done & over now more jia lat.. caoz..

plus stupid de ST boss wan to park car dun pay first.. then blame me for no reminder.. my problem ah? sian.. kana long long scolding by boss la.. very sad.. wan to cry le.. but i was damn serious lor.. boss still can smile when he see the tension on my face.. wa lao.. blur.. serious also can't smile also can't cry also can't then what should i do then?

left office at 1800 so no choice have to take cab wasted ten buck lor.. reherse a bit before the rest came in.. our group is the second to present so waited nervously.. now's is my turn everything was alright but got a nervous breakdown keep stammering.. but it went smoothly didn't miss any part or look a script.. phew..

class ended at 2130.. daddy picked me up.. when home to doll up before zouking.. reach around 1200.. lucky me dun need to wait de wor.. five minutes can get in coz got ppl 'ar ga liao' at zouk.. no bad la.. even tough need cover charge..

saw kailun at the entrance but then thru the night can't find him liao.. saw andrea as pretty as usual..always get to see my poly de 'mei nu' during clubbing one.. haha the last time at momo saw christina but the thing is that all of them became slimmer.. so xian mu leh.. hee..

place super packed as i was squeezing thru i saw my tenant samuel.. haha.. anw we pul thru each other & reach our designated place.. haha.. like that also can right coz too pack liao so it is a one for one exchange place de.. i'm crazy lor..

kor was there also but too bad i got rayne aka shan shan my darling so i got stuck to her while partying our way thru.. saw her models friends but lucky nv ditch me or i'm gg to kill her.. okok.. then party our way thru the centre of the dance floor.. so pro right just the two of us.. but left the rest consisting of my kor & friends aside.. dance it all out our fav.. but come on we r not regular but social clubber leh.. crazy.. haha.. once a dancer.. forever one.. can i? haha

Well well, no photos allowed but

STILL..

all time favourite.. classic..

lychee martini as usual

well the rest of the pictures are so blur shit sia.. coz have capture the pix i shift the phone away le.. blur kuku i m.. okok.. shan finally left me for supper with xiao didi.. not my cup of tea.. i'll rather.. go back & continue.. haha.. had a few more glasses coz one for one la..

reach home real late.. all alone coz i need to be left alone.. i'm totally sadden by my tots.. i'll rather be brain dead & not think about him.. hate it.. so after partying everything still go back to the reality.. sorrows completed me..
not drunk at all.. no hangover this morning.. which means depression..

*THAT'S Y U SEE SHUHUA BLOG HERE*

nitez fall as @1:42 PM

the ultimates @ orchard

best statue of the yr


illumination from the row of brothers

it'a a tie.. first runner-up & second runner-up..


nitez fall as @4:59 PM

SINGLES.. SO WHAT..

thanks gals for being so wonderful..

trio la..

keke my wonderful audiences.. thanks for attending my concert..
boo..

give some face leh.. my singing not bad wat.. *chuckle*
yannie & me.. that's better..

smile is contagious.. the least within the three..

opening up to the radience..


looking towards our bright future..

is it this bright?

when 3 brains connects, u'll not wan to know wat happen..


this or that?


nitez fall as @4:16 PM

thanks for the night out ytd..

i didn't cry coz i promise.. not only to u but many others..

peaceful as usual..

romantic but not for me..

sorrows..

brain freeze..

numb..


left the limelight..

still have to smile..

slept..

lights disintegrating me.. oh no..

swing away troubles..

enjoyment.. in process..

nitez fall as @4:13 AM

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